So I decided to start this blog as an experiment. I've lived in my leafy little suburb outside Philly for 2 years now and despite my winning personality, good sense of humor and very cute kid, I have yet to make a single friend in the neighborhood. Instead of taking this personally or as a reflection on what's wrong with me, I choose to blame the (mostly) awful (mostly) women I meet every time I walk my daughter to our local playground.
Here's what happened today.
The playground is packed. A nice fall day around 5pm and I can barely get a spot on the swing. I pick the last one and I push my daughter while the two fairly attractive and very fit women next to me do not acknowledge my existence and proceed to talk about their activities.
Lady #1: We're doing Sally's Music class and my older one is in pre-school 5 days a week.
Lady #2: Oh - we're only doing pre-school 2 days a week.
While the 2 women are talking, Lady #1's twins (about a year old) are on the swing and she has her back to them. The girl is sitting in the non-moving swing looking like she just smoked a joint and her twin brother is being pushed by his 3 year old sister who is also bouncing a ball in his face. The mother has no clue. She hasn't turned around once in 10 minutes.
Lady #2: I want to start storytime with Joseph because I'm worried he's not verbal enough and I want him to start making more sounds (Joseph is sitting in the baby bjorn on her chest -he is 6 months old).
Lady #1's cellphone rings. It's about the 10th time it's rang since I've been standing there. She hangs up, proceeds to whip around to me - me who has now been standing there a foot away from them pushing my daughter for about 15 minutes :
Lady #1: I know you. How do I know you?"
Me: (She looks familiar to me too but I really don't want to admit it) Um, maybe Sally's music class?
Lady #1: Yes but I see you everywhere. How old is your daughter?
Me: (tries to talk but is interrupted by Lady#1's cellphone ringing. Once she hangs up she turns back around to her friend and they continue to talk -- Lady #1's back is once again turned to her kids and of course to me.
Eventually I take my daughter out of the swing and Lady #2 leaves. Lady #1 notices us again sitting on the end of the slide.
Lady #1L "When do you do Sally's music class?"
Me: Saturday mornings.
Lady #1: What else?
Me: What else?
Lady #1: Yeah, what else do you guys do? Storytime, Gymboree?
Me: Oh - I work - so music class is about all we can fit in.
Lady #1: (very quickly answers) Yeah, I used to work too. (cellphone rings. She talks -ignoring children once again. She hangs up and hightails it out of there, never looking back to say goodbye).
So there you go. This was my lovely time at the playground today which unfortunately is emblematic of how it usually goes - although most of the time I am only overhearing these conversations, not participating in them.
If you are one of the women who identifies with "Lady #1" then you will hate me and my blog and hopefully I won't bump into you at the playground. If you do, please don't throw my daughter of the swing. She can't walk yet.
The truth is, I'm not really looking to find a deep connection or soulmate - just someone who doesn't disgust me or make me nauseous. Before you start getting all Mommy Wars on me, please understand this has nothing to do with me being a working Mom and looking down on stay at home Mom's. I truly respect and admire stay at home Mom's. Hey - some of my best friends are SAHM's! This has to do with me not understanding why I can't relate to these other Mom's who, on the surface, I should have plenty in common with. Yet I walk away from the playground always feeling lonely and lost.
Just so we're clear, I am not a snob who expects these women to be talking about the election or how we've just entered another Great Depression. But I become Greatly Depressed and isolated when I feel like Mommy cliques are all over the place and my best girlfriend is my NPR podcasts that I listen to on my walks (btw - I didn't say the NPR thing to be snobby or try to sound intellectual - I love Us Magazine and Perez Hilton just as much but they don't have podcasts yet).
So the experiment is two-fold. I'm gonna give myself 6 months to try and make an actual friend at the playground. And in the process, I'm going to fancy myself somewhat of a suburban anthropologist to find out what it is that these "soccer Mom's" talk about when they think no one is listening (ok - obviously I am listening but since they're ignoring me it really doesn't matter, does it?).
Tell me all your tales from the playground. Maybe it will make me feel better... or maybe worse.
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6 comments:
brilliant story albeit a sad commentary and unfortunately true in most every park. looking forward to more of your adventures!!
I live in center city Philadelphia...picturesque, Queen Village, in fact. It's filled with all sorts of moms.
I am a mom who works part-time from home. I have been living this life for the last two years. And not once have I exchanged numbers with another mom in the park.
great story...funny, real and poignant. the crazy thing is i feel like this in NYC all the time. there should be more intimate 'connections' with people who are similar or living similar lives...be it picking tomatoes in whole foods or on my laptop at starbucks...there are just women, who become moms, who are shallow, feel entitled, are rude and mean. all you can really do is realize they are probably getting NO good dick on a regular basis :)
i swear except for the swing parts, this sounds just like the dog run! i operate from the "love em 'cause they give you a great story to tell" perspective! xoxo
Um, this is the BEST THING I'VE READ IN A LONG TIME. You are a great storyteller. I 100% can relate to this. I don't fit in at any park, class or group. I work FT because I don't have a choice, then to come home and rush to the park in my work clothes, I get stares by ladies who are in those stuipd ass Nicole-Ritchie-sized-sunglasses and have "Juicy" written on their asses. You know what? You are a great Mom who spends amazing quailty time with your daughter - and so am I. :)
hilarious! i am picturing you and its making me laugh all over again.
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